Put that Freak Flag Away!

Jason-

Organizations are conformist by nature. Some organizations are really conformist and some not so much, but there is always some degree of conformity...that is true of any social group actually. Conformity is the cost of membership.

Too much conformity can be really, really bad and you can see examples of this ranging from Enron to Nazi Germany. Too much conformity has always been problematic, but conformity in general has become more costly to organizations because of the changes in how we do work and how we create value.

When an organization was just trying to make as many widgets as quickly and cheaply as possible, conformity seemed pretty appealing. When my role as an employee was simply to paint as many of those widgets as I could as quickly and cheaply as possible...my supervisor might not have cared about much else. My supervisor might not have cared about my ideas or questions or other skill sets. Painting. Uniformity. Quickly. Cheaply. That is likely what my supervisor would have cared about.

But today much is different.

Quick and cheap and uniform are opportunities for competitive advantage for almost nobody today. Unfortunately, our way of leadership has not changed in any significant way to reflect the transformation in how we create value today.

Conformity, which had some real benefits 50 years ago is increasingly costly and even dangerous for organizations. Conformity makes it hard to innovate, hard to learn and hard to change and evolve as an organization. It is becoming important to organizations that their employees are able to bring their whole self to work, because their ideas, perspectives, assumptions, questions, etc. are now valuable materials.

I shared a few thoughts about this transformation in Whole People Build Whole Organizations and The Whole Truth. In your post you pointed to a few ways organizations make it hard for us to "bring our whole self to work;" avoiding conflict, not promoting weirdos and companies still thinking they are in control.

I agree with the three things on your list and I think that at their core, each of these things can be boiled down to not understanding the dynamics and the value of difference. I think that difference (or diversity) is likely the most poorly understood thing in the world of business today. It also, in my humble opinion, explains one of the statements toward the end of your post:

"This isn't an issue of self-confidence or even being comfortable in your own skin. I feel relatively far along in both of those areas and yet I consciously pack away parts of my true self when I head into the office every day."

Your self-confidence might be fine and you might love your own skin. But you know, as everyone else knows, that standing out can be costly. Unfortunately most of us tend to see difference as a threatening or negative thing rather than a valuable thing (especially in the organizational context)...conversely, most of us spend a lot of time, and a lot of energy trying to fit in. The more we work to fit in, the less authentic we are as we have to truncate our true identities to look, talk, walk, dress, smell and think the way everyone else does.

So, what do we do about it? I will tackle that in another post.

-joe

Bringing Yourself to Work

Joe,

Do you bring your full self to work?  This is a question that I know we are both very interested in because the answer to this question is so often "no" for some many of us, and yet the reasons underlying this answer are so complicated.

I've been meaning to write a post on this subject for some time, but hadn't committed to do it until I saw Trish McFarlane's clever post this weekend titled Embrace the Real You which detailed her journey to the eventual purchase of a minivan.  Her post talked about the fact that she had get comfortable with who she was before she could give up her sports car and replace it with a minivan.

I think that you and I would probably both agree that an ideal workplace would be one where people could bring their full self to work.  I also think we'd probably both agree that this type of workplace is an idealized pipe dream that doesn't actually exist.  Therein lies the problem.  Why is it that workplaces require us to edit, censor and limit what parts of our self we bring along when we show up each day?

One of the things that makes this so utterly complicated is that we, as human beings, are rarely quite sure of what our true self looks like.  As Trish outlines in her post, her reluctance with buying a mininvan came from an internal struggle to embrace who she really is.  Since this is a common struggle and since we are constantly evolving and changing as people, it could be very difficult for anyone to decide what version of themselves is the real and authentic self that they'd want to showcase to the world if they had such an opportunity.  But, let's put this aside for the time being and talk about what might be going on at work that prevents us from being ourself when we go there.

Here are a few observations about what I see going on in companies that are contributing to this problem.

1. We fear conflict.  This is why we are trained never to talk about politics, religion or sports at work.  These discussions inevitably lead to disagreement and debate, so we are told to just flat out avoid the topic at all cost.  So, if you are deeply religious, political or a sports fanatic, keep that to yourself because that would just make others uncomfortable if you talk about this part of yourself.
2. We don't promote weirdos.  Intentionally or not, most corporate cultures have strong immune systems that weed out those who are different.  In a law firm, it's the person with pink hair who's the weirdo.  At a creative ad firm, it might be the person who wears a suit to work.  If you want to get promoted, you need to fit in.  If you stick out, it's probably going to cost you.  
3. Companies still think they are in control.  For the past fifty or sixty years, conditions within the US workforce have enabled a situation where companies have been able to get away with doing what was in their best interest, often at the expense of their employees.  The result is an expectation that to have a job at company A, you must figure out how to fit in at company A--to become a company A man or woman.  But, if you decide to move to company B, you need to learn a whole new way of being (talking, dressing, acting, etc.) in order to fit in there.  So, the message to employees has long been this: it's not who you are that matters, it's how well you can adapt and fit in at our company that really counts.  

This isn't an issue of self-confidence or even being comfortable in your own skin.  I feel relatively far along in both of those areas and yet I consciously pack away parts of my true self when I head into the office every day.

Do you share my concern on this issue?  If so, what you see being the leading culprits in why this exists?  And, the million dollar question, what do we do about it?  

Looking forward to your thoughts.  

Jason

The Crisis of Conflict Avoidance

Joe,

Twice recently I've run into situations where I've had conversations with people where they relayed to me how they weren't comfortable having open discussions with others at work. One person was in a situation where she was miserable at work, but was choosing not to have the tough conversation with her boss that could lead to improvements. When I asked her why, she shared with me a list of assumptions she was making:

• She thought that it didn't matter if she talked to her boss because she didn't think anything could be done.
• Because her issue is primarily with the behavior of a co-worker, she felt that bringing up her concerns would come across as petty.
• She felt like it was an issue that she should probably be able to resolve on her own (even though she'd been failing to deal with it for 2 years)
• She thought that raising these complaints my jeopardize her job

The issues this woman were experiencing weren't easy ones to resolve. But, they could be resolved with the help of her management. However, because her management weren't aware of the extent of the issue, they weren't taking any action to resolve it. By choosing silence, she had become part of the problem. Her solution: go look for another job. The irony of the situation was that her primary fear in bringing the issues up to her boss was that it might impact her job security (although she had not evidence to support that fear), so instead of taking that risk, she was just going to find a new job. It seems crazy, but I think it happens a lot.

My experience tells me that this issue is plaguing our businesses and workplaces. People are, for one reason or another, choosing silence and misery over courage and change. It is another reminder for me of how fearful human nature is of change. It also reminds me of how harmful it can be to people when you have a workplace that punishes those who have the courage to speak up.

As organizations talk about talent management, they often find themselves focused on systems and ratings, assessments and succession plans. But, the best designed system in the world cannot effectively set talent free in the absence of open, authentic conversations that will regularly dip into uncomfortable areas of conflict.

Just last week, I sat in a room with several HR leaders from various larger employers in the area to discuss developing leadership. As further evidence of this lack of open conversation, this group identified conflict management skills as the single biggest gap amongst their future leaders. Even more concerning was that the discussion in this group revealed that it wasn't just these leaders who were conflict incapable (or worse, avoidant), but that it was really the culture that reinforced unproductive harmony over productive conflict.

This is a crisis. So, I pose to you these two questions:

1. Does your experience align with mine on this issue?
2. What must we do to solve this problem?

I look forward to your thoughts.

-Jason